영어 문법 틀린거 있는지 봐주라ㅜㅜ

I want to be a nurse able to accommodate the needs of patients and caregivers calmly under any circumstances. 

 

first, Nurses perform medical activities that help patients recover, maintain, and promote their health at a medical facility 

 

Second, Give patients and families explanations about treatment and disease. 

 

Third, nurses can administer emergency treatment without doctors, can help doctors, and can treat patients according to prescriptions or prescriptions. 

 

 

The first reason I want to be a nurse is because it is meaningful and rewarding to treat a sick person 

 

The second reason I want to be a nurse is because the nurse lives a life of helping and serving the sick people 

 

The last reason I want to be a nurse is because I was impressed by the nurse who gives a warm smile to the patient.

[익인1]

첫번째 nurse able to 안 맞앙

[익인2]

second 다음에 주어가 없엉

[글쓴이]

뭐라고 고쳐?ㅜㅜ

[익인3]

뭐라고 하고싶은건데??

[익인4]

I want to be a nurse, who will be able to~~~

[익인5]

Medical activities that help patients to recover~~~

[익인6]

Nurses give patients and families explanation~~~

[익인7]

네번째 문단에 prescriptions 두번 들어갔네. 하나 빼면 됨. 그리고 prescriptions 전에 the 붙이구

[익인8]

6번째 문단 the nurse 보다는 a nurse가 더 자연스러움.

[익인9]

마지막 문단 I was impressed by the nurse who gave~~

[익인10]

First, second, third 보다는 firstly, secondly, thirdly가 훨씬 더 자연스럽고

[익인11]

장래희망을 이야기 하는거라면 I want to be보다는 I want to become이 더 내용전달이 잘 될 듯. 한국에서 영어교육을 받아본적은 없어서 한국영어 문법에 맞춰서 고친건 아닌데... 내가 보기엔 몇개만 고치면 괜찮을 것 같아! 이해하는데에는 전혀 문제가 없는 writing임.