영어 잘하는익들아!! 한번만 도와주라!!!

Today i will introduce to you is the korean scientist "Jang Young-sil"

As a scientist of the Joseon Dynasty in Korea, he made various inventions that are the foundation of science now.

Among them, the most representative inventions produced the astronomical observation device, 

"Ganwa Honcheon," and invented the most necessary items of life of the time, such as the water clock, "Jeongjeongru" sundial, "Angbuilgu."

His invention made life more convenient for ordinary people during the Joseon Dynasty and contributed greatly to the increase in agricultural production.

It can also be said that his invention was the foundation of Korean science.

여기 문장에서 혹시 이상한부분이나 잘못쓰인 문법이 있는지 한번만 봐주라,,

[익인1]

introduce 뒤에 to오면 안 되지 않나여..?

[글쓴이]

아진짜? 그럼 바로 I will introduce you ~~ 이렇게 쓰면 맞아,,? 내가 저거 번역이돌렸는데 틀린부분이 있는가해서 물어봤어!!

[익인1]

밑대 ㅅ봐주라,,, 아예틀려서 고치고 있었는데 익인2가 다 해줬음 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[글쓴이]

아 헐 대박,,ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ 그래도 도와줘서 너무고마워ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ♥♥♥ 복많이받아라!!! 오늘도 좋은하루보내!!!!!!

[익인2]

Today I will introduce the korean scientist "Jang Young-sil"

As a scientist of the Joseon Dynasty in Korea, he made various inventions that are the foundation of scienpce now.

Among them, the most representative inventions produced the astronomical observation device,

"Ganwa Honcheon," and invented the most necessary items of life that time, such as the water clock, "Jeongjeongru" sundial, "Angbuilgu."

His invention made life more convenient for ordinary people during the Joseon Dynasty and contributed greatly to increase in agricultural production.

It is that his invention was the foundation of Korean science.

[익인2]

introduce 다음에 굳이 to you 이거 쓸필요 없고 굳이 불필요하게 들어간말이 많아서 빼버렸어

[글쓴이]

아진짜 대박이다,,, 완전 고마워 익아ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ덕분에 살았따,, 진짜 너무너무고맙고 복많이받아♥♥♥♥ 나도 열심히 영어공부해야겠어,,ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ진짜 너무 고맙고 오늘도 좋은하루보내!!!♥♥♥♥♥

[익인3]

Today I will introduce you the Korean scientist "Jang Young-sil."
As a scientist of the Joseon Dynasty in Korea, he made various inventions that are the foundation of science now.
Among them, the most representative invention is the astronomical observation device, "Ganwa Honcheon."
Another invention which is the most necessary items of life of all time is the water clock, "Jeongjeongru" and sundial, "Angbuilgu."
His invention made life more convenient for the people during the Joseon Dynasty and contributed greatly to increase in agricultural production.
In fact, his inventions are the foundation of Korean science.

[익인3]

문장 너무 긴건 자르고 몇 개 대문자랑 문장 수정하면서 좀 더 자연스러운 표현으로 바꿨엉

[글쓴이]

헐헐 진짜,,ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ 대박이다,,, 익아 너무 고마워,,ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ나도 열심히 영어공부해야겠다,, 진짜 복 많이 받고 오늘도 좋은하루 보내 진짜 고마워!!!♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

[익인3]

웅! 쓰니도 잘 썼엉!! 별로 많이 수정 안했엉 :) 좋은 하루 보냉

[글쓴이]

웅웅 너무너무 고마워!!ㅎㅎㅎㅎ